Lani's Makeshift Family Page 8

  After changing Ana’s diaper, he put her in the crib and went to get Alexa. Thankfully, the baby seemed to have gotten used to being by herself. She gave him a giggle and busied herself with the pots and spoons he’d put in her playpen. Nick leaned against the wall and watched her for several minutes. Her hair curled in what he guessed were called ringlets. Like brown pig’s tails, curls poked out from her head and fell across her forehead. Her face was rounder than Ana’s and she had a mischievous look in her brown eyes. She definitely was the more active of the two.

  He remembered watching Nicky play in that playpen so many times. His games were more passive than Alexa’s who now flung blocks at the pots. Nicky had been such an easy baby to take care of. Nick wished he’d had more time to spend with his son. He swallowed hard as his mouth dried. Because of his airline job, he’d missed half of the boy’s life. Nicky had been nearly three months old when he finally bonded with him. Since Nick had traveled for days at a time, both kids got much closer to Donna who had been there for them. He had always envied her that.

  With a sigh, he pushed himself from the wall. Alexa played as if she didn’t notice him. “Hey, Lex, it’s bedtime.” He scooped her up despite her protests and took her to his room. Not sure if Ana or Lani were still contagious, he figured he’d keep Alexa separated for a few more days. The baby fought as usual when he changed her and ran a wet cloth across her teeth. Biting his finger had become a sort of game. He knew he shouldn’t encourage her naughtiness, but he also knew he couldn’t reprimand a one-year-old. Not that he’d ever let himself get into the situation of being a father again, but if he did, he’d be useless. Something had drained from his soul, weakening him. He felt nothing but apathy now. He’d be a lousy father who couldn’t even scold a one-year-old for biting.

  Alexa grabbed her afghan and undid the “tucking into bed” that Nick had performed. He shook his head and turned off the light. On his way out, he left the door open a crack so the hall light filtered in for Alexa. It amazed him that she’d adjusted to her drawer-bed and didn’t try to crawl out.

  Like a nurse on hospital rounds, Nick peeked in on Ana and Lani. He’d done this so many times the past two days, he could tell they were getting better by the tone of their breathing. Lani remained on the bed in the room with Ana, and he figured there was no point moving her. He stepped in the room and threw a blanket over her fully clothed body.

  She peeked one eye toward him. “Stephen?”

  “No, Nick,” he whispered, guessing Stephen must be her ex or some boyfriend…a boyfriend? He hadn’t thought that Lani Cabot might have a boyfriend. He had no right to even care if she did. And no right to the envy starting to creep into his mind. He shook away the betraying thought.

  “No, Nick,” she repeated. “Nick…Nick Hunter,” she mumbled.

  He smiled. On the porch, Nick flopped wearily into a rocker. Feeling this beat wasn’t usual for him up here at the cabin. Even after a day of hunting or fishing, the clean mountain air revived him. But this damned caretaker bit was exhausting. How had Donna managed to run a household and raise their kids most of the time by herself? How did any woman do it?

  Over the past couple days, he’d learned a new respect for mothers. Mom had done a damn good job with two boys and his two sisters. He pulled out a cigarette. They were starting to taste fouler every day. Maybe he should quit, but for what or whom? When he reached into his jacket pocket for a match, his hand caught on something silken. Pulling out his hand, Lani’s blue ribbon clung to his fingers.

  Nick shut his eyes and held the ribbon toward his face. He rubbed the softness against the stubble of his beard. Lani’s scent filtered to his thoughts, bombarding him with desire. All along he’d been fooling himself that he could stay celibate. Men needed women and not just for physical pleasure. He tried to think of making love to Donna. The memories had grown so distant, he knew he’d forced them deep inside so he’d never recall them ever again. All he remembered was that she had pleased him. He hoped he had pleased her as much—he had tried to. Now he was left unsure because his wife had been so passive and didn’t state her needs.

  How could all women be so different? Had what he and Donna had been so perfect that he couldn’t look for love again? Or was it just the opposite? Donna was always there for him. They’d shared a great life together and had planned out their future right down to a retirement home on the west coast of Florida.

  When Nick landed the coveted airline job, they’d celebrated with both sides of their families. The pay was unbelievable, but Donna continued to save and spend frugally as if Nick were still a struggling commuter pilot. He nearly forced her to buy the five-bedroom house in the nicest neighborhood in town. But he only wanted the best for his family.

  His family. A burning sensation invaded his chest. Donna and the kids had been snatched by fate. His bitter laughter echoed through the leafless trees. He had to laugh because he never cried. Lani’s ribbon fell to the wooden floor. Holding it to his cheek, he whispered, “Why the hell did you have to find my cabin?”

  He leaned back, trying to decide how to get her and the babies out of his life—without waiting for the river to freeze.

  Chapter Seven

  Lani’s eyes fluttered open. Dusky shadows covered the walls, and blackness masked the windows. The room was silent except for the faint ticking of a bedside clock. After a few minutes, she recognized that she had fallen asleep in Ana’s room. She sat up quickly to check on the baby. She turned too fast, leaned back, and took a few breaths. Reaching over, she flipped on the bedside lamp. Ana wasn’t there. Fear crept into Lani’s thoughts, but she calmed herself, certain that Nick had the baby in another room.

  Annoyance filled her at the realization she’d slept through him coming and going. She’d never been a deep sleeper, but being a mother had given the words light sleeper new meaning. Even on their trip back from Russia, she’d woken all night long at every sneeze, gurgle, or cough from one of the twins. This illness had really knocked her out.

  Hair fell forward, and she pushed it back. Looking under the quilt for her ribbon, she remembered she hadn’t had it in the kitchen earlier. She stood slowly and assessed her body. Actually, she felt much better. The grumbling in her stomach was from hunger and finally, the thought of food didn’t make her queasy. She’d kill for a bowl of her mother’s homemade chicken soup.

  Right now, she’d settle for a cracker. A dim light led her way down the hallway. She could hear a soft snoring from Nick’s room and recognized it as Alexa’s. Peeking in the doorway, she saw Alexa sound asleep in her drawer.

  He’d thought to separate the girls. How did a man like him know these things?

  The living room was empty so Lani went toward the kitchen door. Muffled words floated in the darkness. With a push of the door, she stepped in to see Nick holding Ana near the stove. Panic grabbed her chest, and Lani rushed forward. “What are you doing?”

  “Calm down, she’s just a little stuffy.”

  Behind Nick she could see a teapot, steam threading toward the ceiling. He had a towel partially covering Ana’s head and held her just near enough for the moist air to reach her. His leg pressed firmly into the stove, and he held Ana’s hands so she couldn’t reach out toward the heat.

  “Can she breathe okay?” Lani couldn’t control the fear in her voice. What if Ana needed some medicine or a doctor?

  “She can now. Sit down before you scare her.”

  Lani ignored Nick and peeked under the towel. “Hi, sugar.” Tears welled in her eyes at Ana’s weak smile, but she looked all right. Not that she knew much about sick babies, but Ana’s coloring looked a little pinker than earlier. “I’ll be right back.” She ran to get her book on caring for toddlers.

  Nick still held Ana near the stove when Lani returned. “Not that book again, Cabot.”

  “Tell me her exact symptoms.” She held the book toward the light.

  “A cold.”

  “No, I mean, sneezing, coughing…” Sh
e thumbed through the book. “Any vomiting?”

  “She doesn’t eat because her nose is too stuffed up.”

  “How do you know that? Are you some child expert—”

  Nick glared.

  She didn’t mean to insult him, but he had no right to keep telling her how to take care of her babies. She reached out to check the baby to see if the fever lingered.

  Nick clucked his lips. “Don’t you think the steam is going to affect your diagnosis, doc?”

  Lani pulled back her hand. Shoot, he was right. She spun so he wouldn’t see her crimson cheeks. By the rising heat, she knew she looked like a beet. To make matters worse, her stomach growled like a grizzly bear.

  “Ana’s going to be fine. There’s some leftover stew in the frig, or maybe you shouldn’t eat something so heavy.” He nodded toward the cabinet next to his right leg. “Cans of soup are in there. Plain chicken noodle.”

  Out of spite, she was tempted to heat up a huge bowl full of stew, but her stomach had been through enough the last few days. She marched toward the cabinet. Oh well, canned chicken noodle would have to do. She yanked out a can, opened it, and heated it just enough that she wouldn’t have to wait very long for it to cool. Once she poured it into a bowl, she sat down to eat, the aroma making her stomach growl in double time.

  Lani sucked up the last noodle from her spoon. Thankfully, Nick had taken Ana out of the kitchen, so Lani devoured the soup nearly at once. Looking at the clock, she was surprised to see it was two in the morning. Nick must be exhausted after caring for the three of them. She’d have to make it up to him in some way. Perhaps cleaning the cabin…looking around the dish-covered counter she winced. Yeah, she could at least do that after he’d cared for her and the girls for so long.

  She washed the dishes and soon the kitchen looked presentable. After an hour of being up and moving, she felt tired again. Hopefully by tomorrow morning, she’d be back to herself.

  Lani stopped in the doorway of the living room. Nick sat in the rocker near the fireplace rocking Ana. The baby snuggled against his chest, golden flames reflecting on her pink cheeks. Her soft, peaceful breathing mingled with the occasional crackle of the fire. A surge of jealousy filled Lani. She wanted to hold her daughter, but knew moving her would wake Ana. Lani shut her eyes for a few seconds and waited. Maybe she had been wrong about Nick not giving the girls any attention.

  At least Ana was coming out of her shell. The shell living in the orphanage had formed around her. That alone was good reason to be grateful for Nick’s interference.

  Lani walked forward, her gaze on the man holding her precious daughter. “Is she breathing bet—” Nick’s eyes were closed. His head rested against the back of the rocker and a contented smile had fixed itself on his lips. He held Ana with one arm tucked beneath her and the other securing his hold. How peaceful the two looked.

  She’d read how babies liked the firm comfort of a man’s arms. Obviously, they felt secure in a strong grasp. Yet, her girls would never have a father to rock them to sleep each night. This brief time with Nick was their only chance to have a man in their young lives. Tears burned against Lani’s eyes.

  Although Nick seemed to have a good hold of the baby, Ana could fall. Lani reached to take her daughter. Gingerly, she lifted Nick’s hand.

  “Hey, Cabot, just because you’ve slept for days doesn’t mean you should wake us all up.”

  The comment startled her and she pulled back.

  Nick looked at her with sleepy eyes. He pushed back a lock of hair that fell right back onto his forehead.

  With all his caretaking jobs, he hadn’t the time to shave. A dusky beard covered his cheeks down to his firm, squared jaw line. Darkened circles, from lack of sleep, cast a shadow beneath his eyes. He must be worn out. She couldn’t help staring, and her pulse made it worse by pumping double time.

  “Cabot?”

  “Yes?”

  He chuckled. “Thought you’d fallen into some trance.”

  The sensual stirring that had started to ripple inside her as she studied Nick Hunter burst. Embarrassment threatened to take over, but her anger at his mocking surged forth. “I didn’t want Ana to fall. Let me hold her.” She ignored his grin and stepped closer. He gave her a glance as if trying to decide if she was capable of holding her own daughter!

  “Don’t jostle her too much.” He stood so smoothly, Ana didn’t even stir. “Sit down.”

  Deciding not to comment on his demanding tone, she sat on the warm seat of the rocker. The temperature of the rocker making her bottom tingle—another reminder of Nick.

  Nick eased Ana into Lani’s hold. The baby stirred.

  Lani frowned, but after a sucking of her lips, Ana remained asleep. “We’ll be fine. You can go get some sleep, Nick.”

  He didn’t budge. Like an inspector, he towered above Lani, staring downward.

  “And thank you for everything. I don’t know if I could have managed here by myself—”

  He gave her an I-doubt-it-look.

  “I was very sick.” He still didn’t leave. “I’m really much better now.”

  Nick walked to the fireplace and grabbed the poker. Embers sparkled up the chimney when he jabbed at the logs. Heat warmed Lani as she studied Nick. Was he deliberately taking his time? She thought the fire might go out if he poked it anymore.

  Nick finally turned, but seated himself on the couch instead of leaving.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to go to your room?” she asked, hugging Ana protectively.

  “Fire needs to be watched.”

  He sounded adamant about not leaving the fire. She knew she couldn’t manage to stoke it and hold the baby, nor would she even try. Her apartment didn’t have a fireplace, and she hadn’t lived in her new house long enough to use that one.

  Looking at the heavy screen across the fireplace opening and brick floor in front of the hearth, she guessed the fire didn’t really need watching. Hadn’t pioneers heated their homes like this? No one sat up all night watching back then. Nick obviously still doubted her maternal abilities. She wished she had her test scores of parenting classes she had taken to show him!

  When she thought of how well he did with the girls, a sense of failure nagged at her. How did he manage without the practice she’d had? Could she have managed as well if he had gotten sick? This on-the-job training was so very different from practicing on a doll. Her good grades were nothing but a piece of paper.

  She eased her head back and rocked Ana. Her heavy eyelids threatened to close in the warmth of the fire. She forced them opened, determined not to fall asleep holding the baby—especially since she’d just rescued Ana from Nick.

  Rocking her daughter, she said a thankful prayer that neither she nor Ana had gotten sicker, and that Nick had the foresight to keep the baby from getting dehydrated.

  Nick knew he should leave, but what if Lani fell asleep and Ana woke and wiggled from her arms? He knew Lani thought he was guilty of doing just that, but he’d only rested his eyes—something he’d done with his own children many times. He’d never fallen asleep or dropped either of them. He settled himself on the couch. By Lani’s comments to leave and the annoyed look in her eyes when he sat instead, he knew she wanted to be alone. But he couldn’t force himself to go. After all, she had been very sick.

  He had thought his heart would tear in two when he found Lani and the girls in his cabin. The constant reminder of his own family hurt every second since his arrival. But he had to admit, even if only to himself, that taking care of the babies these past few days wasn’t as horrible as he’d imagined. Holding tiny bodies, who smelled like the wonderful baby powder he’d doused them with, brought back many special memories. No way in hell had he guessed that thinking about his kids could bring a smile to his lips. After losing them, any remembrance was bitter and hurt like hell—until now.

  Missing his wife was a different story. Having a woman around played havoc with his emotions. Lani drew forth his pain, raw and exposed
, by being in his cabin. Her nearness awakened his lust for a woman, yet his heart kept taking the brunt of her effects. He turned toward her.

  Lani looked tired, darkness smudged under her eyes. She’d leaned back against the rocker as if she might doze off. Her hair draped across one eye and Ana’s chubby fingers gripped a few strands.

  A rose petal pink colored Lani’s cheeks. Luckily, there was no more of the sallow paleness that whatever kind of bug hit her had caused. Nope. No more. Her skin was flawless. He leaned closer, amazed that she didn’t have on any makeup, but her skin looked like a model’s picture that’d been airbrushed. Her eyebrows, somewhat darker than her hair, formed perfect half-moons above her eyes. He’d never seen such brilliant color in a woman’s eyes before. They reminded him of Grandmother Hunter’s ring. That was it! No wonder he always noticed Lani’s eyes. Funny, he hadn’t thought about that ring for years. Obviously, he’d repressed the memory along with so many others.

  He could remember his grandmother’s long slender fingers poking at him as a child when he’d done something wrong. The emerald-cut stone always caught the light and sparkled brightly. Even as a child, he knew his grandfather had to have a lot of money to have bought the emerald, clustered by tiny diamonds, for her May birthstone.

  When Grandmother passed it along to him, he gave it to Donna. But the ring spent more time in the safe than on her finger. He knew she worried it would get lost, but he loved seeing her wear the ring. It was a reminder of his wonderful childhood and the years he was lucky enough to spend with his grandparents. Emma would have been next in line to wear it when she grew up. Now, the ring sat in the safe.

  Ana’s cough pulled Nick’s thoughts to the present.

  Lani sat forward, alarm widening her eyes.

  “She’s fine. Why not put her in her crib now?” Nick stood and walked toward Lani.

  She gave the baby a kiss on her forehead and ignored Nick’s outstretched arms. Her foot caught on the rocker as she stood, and she stumbled back.